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Coasting Through My Sea of Despair

by Alex Michels

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1.
Here I Shall Float 03:03
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It is on days like these, when I lack the will to go on, that the music descends from the heavens to inhabit my heart. I feel the celestial vibrations permeate my brittle body and for a brief moment I am at peace with everything. I am all at once reminded of everything that makes life worth living. My problems become as trivial as my existence. I feel lost when these beautiful, fleeting moments wash away So much so that sometimes I wash away with them. I constantly wonder how long I'll be able to navigate these stormy seas But each time I fall so far under that I convince myself I'll never breathe again, I find the surface. Here I shall float...
2.
He's at Peace Now 05:38
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A heart of gold that's trapped inside a tortured soul So many stories left untold, all of the lives you'll never know Beautiful mind, but the world left you behind All the passions and loves that you'd yet to find You were my most loyal friend when so many others left me And now you're set to spend all of eternity resting Glad I got to know you when I had the chance Cause our time together's fleeting as this frail existence How do I articulate the loss of my partner in crime Who kept me company throughout the loneliest of times He's at peace now Flying free now Now now Untethered to the gravity of earth that pinned his feet down He's at peace now He's at peace now Flying free now Now now Untethered to the gravity of earth that pinned his feet down Say hi to David Bowie for me Know your spirit lives on through me And everyone you knew There's a starman waiting in the sky And it's you, my friend Farewell I hope we meet again one day so we can sail into the sun, say fuck the stormy seas of gray I pray to God that there's an afterlife for you because you died far too young He's at peace now Flying free now Now now Untethered to the gravity of earth that pinned his feet down He's at peace now He's at peace now Flying free now Now now Untethered to the gravity of earth that pinned his feet down Man I saw you in a dream last night Smiling like you didn't even know that you were dead Every time I close my eyes, see your smiling face Cause you're still alive in my head The moon is looking extra full tonight Glowing with the essence of your friendly gaze Even though you're not on Earth, I know that your presence will be felt for the rest of my days
3.
Daydream 02:58
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Depressed, sleeping in till lunch time Not strong enough to fix my flaws today Step outside and see the sunshine Everything is gonna be okay I've been waiting for some time To pack my things and soon be on my way To a place where I can be fine Where all is meant to be and I am meant to stay I woke up this morning in a new town Sun was coming up and I begin to lose frown I look out my window and see humans People satisfied with what they're doing Passion in the city, people burning No more living lives that's filled with yearning Everybody working toward their purpose No more questioning if life is worthless Can't remember what upset me in the first place But my emotions kept returning to the worst place I step back and watch the sunrise And then I seem to realize My dissatisfaction's caused by all the negativity Inhibiting me from pursuing my own destiny What's best for me's to rest in peace Until I find an opportunity to break away from my reality Then y'all can have the best of me
4.
What Am I Supposed to Do? 05:14
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I had a midlife crisis at the age of 15 I wondered what is it all for? Why am I existing? Does that mean that I am gonna die at 30? Probably; at the rate that I'm going, this life just isn't working What am I supposed to do now? Got no one to confide into. No What am I supposed to do now? Got no one to confide into. No Hey, why is it the struggles I'm facing got me in a haze and they got my mind racing? Keeping me up at night even after I shut the light off I'm uncomfortable in my own mind Anxieties racing and racing, but they never seem to find the finish line Oh no they don't What am I supposed to do now? Got no one to confide into. No What am I supposed to do now? Got no one to confide into. No What am I supposed to do now? Got no one to confide into. No What am I supposed to do now? Got no one to confide into. No
5.
Sunny Sunday Afternoon 06:30
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Today's solution is tomorrow's problem Tomorrow's problem is a chance to grow Sometimes I sit and stare up into space Try to feel at one with my time and place I don't belong And it's a sunny sunday afternoon Sitting all alone inside my room Hoping you might call Would love nothing more than to hear from you Please help free me from my depressive cocoon Don't wanna be alone But it's alright, I'm not gonna die Remind myself I'm still alive Flying high into the ground Sinking down into the sky My soul is naked to the outside world But that's okay, just hope somebody out there feels the same way Maybe some day I'll find the one Or maybe the one doesn't exist at all Probably not Troubles with finding love Need some intervention from up above I used to be romantic and believe In the concept of serendipity But it never brought you to me But it's alright, I'm not gonna die Remind myself I'm still alive Flying high into the ground Sinking down into the sky But I'm only 19 years old So how am I supposed to know If my soulmate ever did show When I can't even find my soul Can't find my own soul! I guess that I will be fine On my own For the present Longing is what makes the heart not feel whole Some time to myself to get some self control Don't wanna burden you And truth be told I'm still romantic, writing songs for someone I don't know Every day of life is leading up to you So much time and space left for me to improve But you'll be worth the task Cause it's alright, I'm not gonna die Remind myself I'm still alive When we meet, we'll finally fly Through the night skies as the stars align
6.
Please Release Me From the Inside of My Head 04:20
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I went fishing for happiness in a stream But found nothing but my reflection staring back at me I climbed to the top of the highest trees But still felt low as the ground beneath me Please release me from the inside of my head These thoughts I have are filling me with so much dread I wish I could escape from how I feel But this shit keeps getting too real I searched for answers in the outside world My void could not be filled by a pretty girl No one can protect me from myself Wasting away in my own hell I wished for hope in a wishing well But nothing is as ruthless as life itself Please release me from the inside of my head These thoughts I have are filling me with so much dread I wish I could escape from how I feel But this shit keeps getting too real Bring me to enlightenment It's bright outside but dark in here Too much time spent feeling low I don't know where to go from here But it's okay to just be okay And it's fine to not be fine Just try not to spend too many days torturing your mind If enlightenment was found in one day Then what would be the point? So I say let that stress go brother and let's go roll another... (cough) Please release me from the inside of my head These thoughts I have are filling me with so much dread I wish I could escape from how I feel But this shit keeps getting too real Please release me from the inside of my head These thoughts I have are filling me with so much dread I wish I could escape from how I feel But this shit keeps getting too real
7.
What a Lovely Day/Waiting on the Sunshine 03:22
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Let's people watch Down on my block Outside it's hot Oh what a lovely day Stepped out my room Fresh flowers bloom Plenty of space For us all to stay What a lovely Day We been spending all these days inside Just a-waiting on the sunshine We been spending all these days inside Just a-waiting on the sunshine I'm feeling fine You hit my line Stay up all night Let's watch the sun rise Fresh breath of air Life everywhere Sun coming up On such a lovely day What a lovely day We been spending all these days inside Just a-waiting on the sunshine We been spending all these days inside Just a-waiting on the sunshine We been spending all these days inside Just a-waiting on the sunshine We been spending all these days inside Just a-waiting on the sunshine

about

I began writing this album in one of the most lonely, depressed states of my life, a time of trying to find myself and continually feeling more lost. I spent my first Summer in Seattle last year working full time while trying to record this album in my non-existent free time. In July, I quit my job and recorded nonstop for a month before heading home to Montana to work on the farm for the month of August. I had to keep the album on the shelf when I returned to Seattle in the Fall and things picked up with school. Later that semester, I was stressed about finals when I got the phone call the my best friend of middle school through high school had died. Suddenly, everything that had been plaguing my consciousness ceased to matter; everything became so small in comparison. The life I have endured during the making of this album has been beautiful and tragic and impossible to imagine. Through long periods of looking into the void, the album gradually came together. This album serves as a testament to the new depths of the pain and growth we endure as humans in hopes of a brighter tomorrow. 
Dedicated to Hunter Gappa(February 28, 1998-December 9, 2018)

credits

released October 11, 2019

Alex Michels-Guitars, bass, synths, vocals, trumpet, beats
Written and composed by Alex Michels
Recorded and produced by Alex Michels and Max Rico
Mixed by Alex Michels, Max Rico, and Skyler Moosman
Mastered by Skyler Moosman

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Alex Michels Seattle, Washington

Human | Artist | Musician
instabio.cc/alexmichels
alexmichelsmusic@gmail.com

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